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I was raised Catholic. I was an altar boy and while in elementary school I made the decision to attend the 6 a.m. mass every morning before my classes began at St. Gerard Majella School in west Los Angeles. At one time in my young life, I considered the priesthood. Then I grew up and I also noticed women.

I became skeptical when our church’s pastor began his sermons with our congregation’s responsibility to donate greater amounts of money to the Sunday collection plates. I began to notice that fear had replaced love as the primary theme of every priest’s sermons. When our church’s leaders decided to tell us what to believe and how to react about movies, and political issues, I began to doubt the veracity of my priests and nuns. In school they stressed the fact that we had the ability to think independently, but in school and church things were different.

Throughout my elementary education; grades one thru eight; I was extremely religious. At age 73, I continue to remember much of my religious education. One of the most memorable were precepts of the Catholic Church called the “Eight Beatitudes,” from the Gospel of Saint Matthew.

·     Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

·     Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

·     Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

·     Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

·     Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

·     Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.

·     Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.

·     Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

As I grew older, I began to question the validity of these precepts of the Catholic Church. I began to question if there was a God.

If the beatitudes are promises from God, why do the poorest, most underprivileged men, women, and children suffer the most. Why do one percent of all Americans enjoy the life we were all promised, while nearly 50 million Americans live in poverty? Why are the most evil men in the world, including Kim Jong-un and Vladimir Putin, allowed to rule over millions of people for their own purposes?

I know what the priests and nuns would tell me; “the beatitudes are promises of where your place in heaven will be.” But, does heaven exist? Nothing taught by Christian leaders can be proven.

What I do believe in is the inherent goodness of mankind. I believe in the lifelong search for true spirituality which will make us better people. I join our founding fathers; most of whom were “Deists.” They believed that a supernatural being did create the heavens and earth, but that he or she is no longer alive, or at the very least has no interest in the daily lives of mankind. We must make our own choices in life about the type of person we want to be.

I believe there is more good in the world than evil, and when evil achieves power over our material lives, it must be  vanquished. Devils do exist; they are men and women who are only concerned with themselves and lack compassion for others who are less fortunate.

Finally, churches, mosques, and synagogues should not be buildings. If you worship a God, you will find Him or Her in the forests, the mountains, and the seashores. He or She is in a field of wildflowers, a snow-covered mountain, or a herd of animals. He or She is present in everyone you love, and even many you don’t love. Human beings have free thought and free will and do not need a man or woman standing behind a pulpit to tell us how to live our lives.

Tell everyone, “the truth lives here.”

Op-ed by James Turnage

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